Keep it real.

S: "i miss having REAL friends."

I: "why is it less real in berlin?"

S: "... you'll probably never see (them) again in this lifetime because you know you'll all be going back to your own countries after the posting is over."

I: "why does it make them any less FRIENDS??? not always have to stay with them forever. people come people go, even lovers."

S: "making friends for fun is one thing. you go out, you have fun, you dont make any proper investment in anything. you dont even really trust them. it's just fun fun lor. not real friendship. and even if you tried, it's just difficult to maintain in the end."

It's sad to be (feeling) lonely in a foreign land, because all your friends are back home, in a different time zone. S has been away for more than two years - with only the rare trip home - and looking forward to her return sometime this year.

That special something. Something.

A momentary feeling of loss touched me as I thought about how we sometimes hold back from making a deeper connection with another person, because of 'practical' reasons, like the difficulties of maintaining a long distance friendship. While there's nothing wrong with being prudent with our emotional investments, the future is never a certainty either - friendships can and do fade for various reasons. Sometimes, we need to just live for the moment.

It's not something that everyone can accept or understand. After all, most of my friends from my younger days have just drifted away. Perhaps, it was for want of trying. Perhaps, we were fellow travellers whose paths diverged along the way, and we decided to continue on our own paths - we could not have always seen or known this. Honestly, I would have just let SF and A to fall off my social radar if they hadn't made deliberate efforts to keep in contact. I guess I've never been the "proactive" sort - though events in the past two years have made me rethink my priorities.

I do treasure loyalty and stability in any relationship. It's always nice to have a regular partner for movies and dinner, and a listening ear in times of need; someone I can trust and depend on to come through for me.

And I believe that people can and do come and go, for various reasons.

And I hurt just as much when it's time for my friend to follow his/her own path.

And, more than anything else, I want to be able to connect with a person. (Having him/her around for the long run is a bonus.) It's that moment when you feel a closeness that's more than physical proximity and shared interests. It's an affinity that's either there, or not. It's not something you can nurture into existence. It's something that makes each person different from the next. And certain special somethings will call out to you - if you would only keep your heart and mind open to the myriad possibilities out there.

Or maybe I just have an overactive imagination.